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Alexandra DeWitt

Wearing a bikini for no apparent reason.

"Don't you just hate when you keep going to check the fridge, but there's never anything new inside?"
― Ironic last words
"I thought her name was do-it. She was literally asking for it."
Major Force


Alexandra DeWitt is the former girlfriend of Green Lantern Kyle Rayner. They dated for a number of years and loved each other deeply. She stood by him through the beginning of his superhero career, but they broke up when it caused her to be chopped up into lots of tiny pieces by Major Force. Kyle swore revenge on the killer, but then found out that taking revenge was really hard on somebody with superpowers, and later gave up and forgot about it.

Horrible Horrible Horrible DeathEdit

Women in Refrigerators

OMG WTF U BASTRD

Actually, Alex spent most of her life alive. Prior to her death, she had several hobbies, interests, and even stuff she liked to do. She was only around for a couple of issues though, so nobody really cared about her dying except Kyle Rayner and maybe Gail Simone. Unfortunately, Kyle Rayner's secret identity was compromised by an impromptu Christmas card he sent out that year in costume to all of the villains who kept shooting at him, in an effort to make peace over the holiday season. This did not work out as well as he had planned.

Instead, psychotic ex-marine with the powers of a god Major Force noticed the blindingly obvious ties between the two of them, and attempted to subtly attack Kyle by launching a six-month plan to seduce his girlfriend that would culminate with them sharing a light but impassioned kiss in the parking lot of a T.G.I. Friday's. Meanwhile, sending Green Lantern pizzas he did not order, and prank calling him in a variety of strange accents. This plan fell through, and he realized it would be a lot simpler to just brutally murder her. He was correct.

In the middle of the day, he went to her totally unguarded place of residence and found her home alone completely unprotected from any prospective threats. He took advantage of this situation. After strangulating the parts of her that required strangulation and murderalizing the other parts that required likewise, he chopped her up into little single serving ziploc bags and froze them for convenience so that they could each be buried one night at a time over several weeks, now that Green Lantern was a bachelor. Needless to say, when he found out, Kyle Rayner got super pissed off. Like really really mad. So mad that he had to go out and find Major Force, and give him a very stern talking-to about why messing with other people's stuff is wrong. This gave Major Force a lot to think about, and he stayed up in deep thought that night for several hours before going to sleep.

Blackest NightEdit

Main article: Blackest Night
DeWittBlackLantern

Black Lantern Corps

Later, Alexandra DeWitt was resurrected to join the Black Lantern Corps, a league of super-zombies who fight the Green Lantern Corps. While she does wield a powerful Black Lantern Ring, they were unable to extract her bloody stumpy corpse from the fridge, so she operates from inside of it. Strangely, this appears to be much more comfortable. Appropriately, in her new villainous identity, she has been described as a cold bitch. While she would normally be a very useful Lantern because of her great strength in death, the fact that she is confined to a single large rectangle that has no wheels on it makes her next to useless. Her main strategy is to hide in the Hall of Justice's kitchen and wait for the Justice League to get hungry, and then trick them into opening her. As her frozen body carries a much longer expiration date than many of the other actively decomposing zombies, she can hide in a single kitchen for months at a time stalking her prey. This ability is unsurprisingly also not particularly useful.


External LinksEdit


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