FANDOM


The Wilsons

There goes the neighborhood.

This article contains content related to the most important family in the comics universe

Reading this will immediatly decrease the value of your real estate.

Deadpool

The answer to your question is SHADDUP!

This page is written from The Deadpool point of view.

Well, duh, I'm pretty sure its not a regular article. I mean, its written in first person and won't shuddup about Bea Arthur, so if you didn't realize it was me your an idiot.

Bea Arthur and Deadpool
Bea Arthur

-

Biographical information

-

class="infoboxlabel" style="" |
Died
class="infoboxcell" style="; " |

Timed Tragically

- | -

class="infoboxlabel" style="" |
Nationality
class="infoboxcell" style="; " |

US Marine

- | -

Career

-

class="infoboxlabel" style="" |
Occupation
class="infoboxcell" style="; " |

Actress/Prostitute

- | -

class="infoboxlabel" style="" |
Other work of note
class="infoboxcell" style="; " |

The Love of Wade's life.

-

"It's an angel of God. My glorious Bea Arthur..."
Deadpool, yeah, me, I'm writing this article...

Ah, my beautiful Bea Arthur...

Beware, I, Deadpool, am about to tell you a story of love more heartbreaking than the Notebook.

We met shortly after I became... disfigured...

She was a hooker selling Blow Jobs for thirty bucks on Hollywood Boulevard. Real classy. We shacked up in a local apartment, and after the blowjob, she stayed.

We spoke of love, life, whine, television, and killing. She was a World War II combat vet, one of the few women vets.

We shacked up every time I was in the Los Angelos area, making pationate love and confiding in each other. She was a sex machine, and, being 84 years old when we met, new more of life than I.

What, you gonna be self righteous and say that May-December relationships are wrong? They are beautiful!

We spoke of getting married after the first year, but she told me we where two wondering spirits. We could never settle down, and perhaps she was right... We'll never know.

The entire time, however, I thought she might be senile. She insisted that she was a famous actor, and that she had a television show. So I never left her money, because she would have kicked my ass if I did.

Our love went on for three great years. But all things must come to an end.

One day I was watching Lifetime when a familiar face came across the screen. It was Bea! I spit up my scotch, and ran for the door, knowing now that the love of my life was loaded!

But tragedy struck. As I walked onto her estate for the very first time, screaming her name, all I heard was echos.

Upstairs I went, into the master bedroom. But tragedy awaited me.

My beloved had died in her sleep.

I suppose if I had watched more of a crappy channel like Lifetime I would have known. Hell, maybe I'd have gotten to live in that kickass mansion.

But hindsight is twenty/twenty.

My second chance at loveEdit

Black Lantern Bea Arthur 01

I imagine that evil Black Hand has made her look something like this...

Well, you all now know that I am, in fact, secretly Ron White. But my love for her remains.

I recently found out that she lives still... or rather, her corpse has been reanimated, during some Zombie crap in the DC Universe.

This reality is starting to bore me, anyway. So, I'm off to find my beloved.

What, now your against Necrophilia, too?

Related Content and External LinksEdit

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.