- "My dream is very simple. I'm not an evil man. I just want to literally skull-fuck Hal Jordan. "
- ― Black Hand
The Blackest Night is a crazy Green Lantern zombie love-fest where everybody who ever got killed is reborn with supahpowers. And like any villains with true ambition, they just want to eat the flesh of the innocent. Why? Because zombies are fucking cool.
Seven corps will be at war. And they will vary from being completely badass like 'rage' to being lame fruity gimmicks, like 'passion' or 'hope'.
- Green Lantern Corps are powered entirely by willpower. This requires a lot of alcohol.
- Sinestro Corps are powered by fear. Most of them are republicans.
- Red Lantern Corps are powered by rage. Like a teenage boy, but without the masturbating.
- Blue Lantern Corps are powered by hope. They're basically a bunch of pussies. They are probably all alien Hindus because they let a talking elephant become a member.
- Orange Lantern Corps are greedy. AND ITS MINE! YOU HEAR ME! ITS MINE! ITS ALL MINE!
- Star Sapphire Corps are powered by love.
Like all sensible relationships, they are weakened by the terrible powers of the Gay Marriage Ring.Scratch that. They're all women and powered by love, but they hate Green Lantern. So they're probably lesbians.
- Indigo Lantern Corps are... compassion? OH MERCY, REMOVE YOUR EYES THIS INSTANT! BWAHHH!
- Black Lantern Corps are OMG ZOMBIES GET IN THE CAR
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