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Jack Kirby

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Lord Kirby

Lord Kirby, Ruler of the Marvel Universe

Jack Kirby was, is, and will always be, Lord Almighty of the Marvel Universe. Well Co-Lord Almighty of the Marvel Universe. There was that other guy Stan Lee. In the beginning there was God, then there was Jack Kirby, that little puff ball, the Prince of Pink, Earl of Eating, the Duke of Drawing, the Master of Masterbating, or just Kirby!

Life Edit

As a child Kirby fought as the protector of Dream Land, a mystical world full of Crack Heads and Magic Worshiper Blimps. Eventually Kirby left, destroying Dream Land in the process with the help of Sesame Street. Kirby went on and traveled the barren waste land called Empty Space. Kirby got bored and created the Marvel Universe with another much smaller diety Joe Simon. Together they created the Marvel Universe's first superhero, Captain America, who was a bit more a pimped out soldier than a superhero. Kirby decided that Simon was no longer needed (his creations were crap), but spared him and let him be Captain America's guardian angel. Kirby then went to the universe that the man we won't talk about about. He created a few superheroes like The Green Arrow, but then left because this guy was the worst boss ever. Luckily for the DC universe, Bob Kane, Jerry Siegel, and Joe Shuster saved them after He-Who-We-Do-Not-Talk-About got fired by God.

Kirby went back to his own universe and teamed up with semi-retired martial arts expert, Stan Lee. Together they created The Fantastic Four, Thor the Norse God of Hammers, Ironman, the living weapon, The X-Men, The Silver Surfer (he ended up being a herald for God), The Hulk(he became Kirby's bodyguard), among others.

Kirby returned to DC for a brief time trying to hit on Wonder Woman, but it didn't work. He punished DC by killing You-Know-Wheeler-Nicholson. They shrugged their shoulders and walked away.

Kirby returned to the Marvel Universe and created a team of assasins, The Avengers, wich included a God, a pimped-out soldier, another God and living weapon among others. Jack Kirby also made the devil give his spawn to Kirby as an offering and Kirby made the devil's spawn become a spy for Kirby's causes.

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