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President

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Come on! Everyone knows who the President of the United States is. There were ten presidents in America's entire history:

1. President George Washington: The first president.

2. President Abraham Lincoln: The first assassinated president before he changed history so that John Wilkes Booth got shot instead. 

3. President Warren Harding: A cruddy supervillain and an asshole who cloned the guy who made "The Simpsons." The first assassinated president.

4. President Fred Flintstone : Also known as The Grand Poobah, Fred Flintstone was the coolest President ever.

5. President Lex Luthor: Superman's best friend who sends him exploding friendship robots.

6. President Dmitri Yuriev: Also called Sergei Kravinoff and Kraven the Hunter, President Dmitri Yuriev was the only supervillain worse than the Killer Moth. He was also a Russian Commie.

7. President Spingebill Skorpleponce: Also called SpongeBob SquarePants, Spingebill only became President of the United States to get his own children's TV show.

8. President Steve Brule: Gaining worldwide fame as a TV talk show host and registered psyhologist from the 1980's, President Steve Brule was planted into the presidency by General Portrick Starr, a subordinate in the service of Giygas. Since the only other candidate was Senator Porky Minch, Steve was president for over 9000 years.

9. President Sqodwarde Torntarklez : A blue demon squid that did nothing at all. Was assassinated instantly after the Inauguration Speech, which consisted solely of "BWAAH! BWAAAH! (nasal snorting) BIBYDB$EDJE#!"

10. President Fred Fredburger: The current president. The most intelligent being in the cosmos. Looks like a green elephant. Has made euthanasia after one second of life legal and necessary. Be glad that Fredburger has doomed humanity in favor of his theoretical race of Nacho-People, or you shall die now!

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