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Psimon

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Psimon has a fit like the baby he is.

"Whataya know! The puff of air makes all the difference!"
―Psimon

Dr. Psimon Jones the Coffee Shop Bandito was a psycho-baby with psychic powers transformed into a fully grown asshole by President Fred Fredburger as part of his "Nacho-People Initiative."

Coffee Shop Bandito (New 52)Edit

Psimon started his criminal career as a coffee shop bandito, entering Starbucks shops and telling the people there to drop dead. Fearing his nachos, people would obey and die of their own free will. Then, Psimon would steal all the brownies abscond with their mochas... with a puff of air... and make away with his ill-gotten gains. However, it just so happens that Psimon's nachos were the monetary equivalent of gold under President Fredburger's dictatorship, and he could have just waited in line and bought 'dem brownies a mocha with a... puff of air. Later, the Devil tried to make friends with him, but those pesky anti-drug Teen Titans foiled Psimon's new buddy. Then, Fredburger, a sworn enemy of Trigon, betrayed Psimon and sent Nacho-People after him. Needless to say, Psimon killed them by forcing them to watch MTV. The Teen Titans then decided to lecture him about drugs for no discernible reason. After listening to the wretched clods for 15 hours, Psimon threw psychic nachos at an obsidian statue Kid Flash was chiseling. Blowing it up, Psimon angered Kid Flash, so the little speedster whelp, an insufferable hypocrite, almost killed Psimon by giving him too much cocaine. President Fredburger then dragged him to Arkham Asylum to do strange and twisted things to him.

Classic PsimonEdit

The classic, Pre-New 52 Psimon was a useless megalomaniac that wanted to nuke Canada, got killed at least thrice, and is Trigon's BEST FRIEND.

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