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- "Psyduck! Psyduck!"
- "Can you believe he calls out his own name in bed?"
- ― Psyduck's girlfriend to Ducktor Phil
Psyduck was the insane cannibalistic spawn of Psylocke and Howard the Duck conceived during their brief time together. Little known to both parties, Howard was in fact the son of the son of the uncle of the mother of the postman that delivered mail to the doctor that delivered Psylocke during her birth, so the boy, being inbred, was born with a genetic disorder that only allowed him to speak the word "Psyduck", which is pretty good for a duck. This led to him being given the name Psyduck.
Several months after his birth, and after confusing a coat rack for his mother, Psyduck wandered off and somehow found his way into the Manga universe where all hopes for being the next great superhero like his father vanished. Psyduck, in his complete, mindless confusion, opted to kill himself. That is, until he met the love of his life, Pidgey. Desperate to make his one, true love fall for him, Psyduck preceded fight in many gruesome battles with beastly creatures until finally, one day, an inflatable forklift landed upon his head, instantly killing the poor duck. Psyduck, unfortunately, never got to evolve into the famed Golduck.
:( :( :(
While his mother Psylocke was busy beating the living shit out of the thousands of fanboys that plauged the comic book universes Psyduck lived with his father, Howard the Duck. Unfortunately, Howard was an abusive father and Psyduck was forced to live with his adopted mother, coat rack. Coat rack forgot to feed her adoptive son on many occasions and Psyduck was forced to go out on his own to find his own food. He wandered into a mysterious world filled with Pokemonsters...whatever that means. To squander his hunger he ate a few of these "Pokemonsters". He ate those Jiggly Puffs like popcorn, God Damnitt! He soon learn to duel these monsters and would defeat them for food. Psyduck had a chance to become a Poke-master of the likes that hadn't been seen since Ash, "Catch 'Em All" Poke-Master. Unfortunately his popularity decreased during a three way sex-scandal.
Psyduck had been together with a Pokemon, a female Pidgey named Pidgey. Pidgey and Psyduck had engaged in varius sexual activities in their time together. During sex Psyduck would scream his name because of his disability. And because of his disability and because Psyduck had a troubled childhood and couldn't write Pidgey thought Psyduck was a "self-centered SOB" or so she told a close friend. Pidgey left Psyduck after a falling out and lived the life of a bachorlette. Psyduck was rumored to have gone into a deppression and engaged into some sexual activities with a mysterious male figure. Meanwhile, Pidgey was planning to make an appearance on Oprah. Everyone wanted to know why Poke-world's most beloved Poke-master broke up with his equally beloved girlfriend. Suddenly, Octomom gave birth and Pidgey was cancelled. Ducktor. Phil quickly put Pidgey on his show.
While Pidgey was putting her makeup on in her room at Dr. Phil's studio, a limo was waiting outside Psyduck's house to pick up the former superstar per orders from the producers of Dr. Phil's talk show. The producers wanted the episode to be incredibly juicy. It was, but not in the way they expected. While Psyduck was being ushered to the studio, Pidgey was pouring her heart out to the fake doctor. Suddenly, Dr. Phil made a critical career ending mistake. It happened like this:
- Pidgey: "He would only scream his name in bed. It was so self-centered!"
- Dr. Phil: "Yes, yes. I think you and I both know Psyduck can be frustrating in bed."
- — Pidgy and Dr. Phil
The crowd sat there in silence and shock. The rumor of Psyduck's gay partner had been confirmed. Dr. Phil career was on the verge of colapse. Then, Dr. Phil's camera loving wife burst in to tears and started cursing at Dr. Phil. Pidgey also burst into tears and ran off-stage and shot herself in the dressing room. Psyduck was shoved out on stage, but his only comment was "Psyduck". The crowd started to inch out of the room. So did Dr. Phil. Phil fled to his Beverly Hills mansion where he hid for the next three months. Dr. Phil's career was over. So was Psyduck's.
For the next three days Psyduck wondered the Poke-world alone. On the third day he was struck down by an inflatable forklift. An inflatable forkliftt truck fell off a cliff and landed next to Psyduck. One of the forklifts rolled off and crushed Psyduck. It was the end of a legend.
Only Dr. Phil and Psylocke showed up at Psyduck's funeral. Howard the Duck, Psyduck's father, was to busy getting drunk and Pidgey was dead. Dr. Phil went gaga at Psylocke and was killed.
Behind the ScenesEdit
If you mention Psyduck in public, every Fanboy in a two mile radius will say "Psylocke?" and then start drooling. Next, Psylocke will swoop in and kill them all. Try it! Its fun.
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