- "I'm not really sure what it is, but... somehow, these Robins I have help me feel whole. Uh..... not in a disgusting way, of course, but uhhh.... its just good to have a companion. No, no, not THAT kinda companion... you know what? Forget it."
- ―Batman trips over his words in a private conversation with Alfred Pennyworth
Robin is the name of several of the Batman's "sidekicks". This character originated back when some Elephant crap sweeper named Dick lost his acrobatic carny parents to a mafia boss. Once he left, Batman was quick to replace him with another one, and it just kept going from there.
Meet the RobinsEdit
Here is a list of the many Robins that have appeared throughout the years.
An 8 year old acrobat, Dick Grayson grew up with his two famous trapeze artist experts. When he turned 6, he tried to become one as well, but failed miserably and was left to cleaning up the Elephant crap. Dicks parents were murdered before his eyes by Tony Zucco, leaving Dick an orphan. Billionaire Bruce Wayne took the weak little by in, and gave him a home. Soon after, however, Young Dick found the Batcave, and became the very first Robin. The young boy came to love Batman..... as a second father, I mean. Yeah, that's what I mean. Dick Spent Eight years as Robin the boy wonder, but when Tony Zucco came back into town, everything changed. Ultimately, after killing Zucco, Dick retired as Robin, and went on to try and get the Bats attention as a standalone hero, Nightwing.
The Second Robin was a Street Urchin that met the Batman after trying to steal the tires of one of the bats lesser Batmobiles. Bruce saw to it the young boy was put into a military school immediately. However, once his previous Robin got pissed and left in a huff, and Bruce heard of how Jason beat the crap out of his fellow
inmates classmates, he had the young boy done the mask and cape. However, the Gods were bored with this Jason boy, so set up a magical telephone tally to see if the boy should live or die. By a landslide vote, he was ruled a dead man. So, God himself sent the Joker to kill the boy. And so, the Joker beat him to death with a crowbar, and planted a bomb on his dying body. However, he was reborn from some space/time mumbo jumbo, and came back as the Red Hood, which is the original alias for the Joker. And so, Jason Todd became a murdering vigilante.
Tim Drake was a rabid fan boy of the Batman's work. He'd been following the bats exploits through the newspaper since Dick had been Robin. This Robin, somehow, figured out something no villain ever had:Who the Batman is. Tim wanted to be THE WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE!, but had to beat the bats detective skills to do it. So, he became the newest of the Robin family. Although not as strong as or as whiny ol' Grayson, and not as psychotic as Jason, he was more than a match for them in pure detective skills. Batman even gave Tim a full armor Robin suit, and pants to boot! Who'd of thought it!
Ok, she's a fluke. She's Timmy's Crazy Ex girlfriend, and a good fighter. Tim had left because of his home life, and with no one ready
to step into Bruce's bed to step up, she got the job. She sucked at it too. She was Robin for two days, then Tim came back. TWO DAYS!!!!
Crazy Ex Girlfriends. Always stealing your clothes.
The son of Millionaire Rapper, Lil' Flav met Bruce Wayne after a busting up one of his parties with his crew. After Tim Drake went on to bigger and better things, Lil' Flav was Robin for a time. After four or five weeks, Lil' Flav came up against the Scarecrow, who used his deadly dust on the boy wonder. However, this Robin, being all to familiar with hallucinogenic drugs, came to his senses, took out a small pistol he had been hiding from the bat, and shot him. Batman, furious, kicked him out of the Batcave. Lil' Flav went the opposite way as his ancestors, for instead of becoming a hero, he became a villain. He changed his Name to Flavah, and became a minion for Bert and Ernie, two mafia crime lords in Blüdhaven.
Tim is out now, as is...
What the hell?
Well, apparently, Batman's dead. There was this big battle between all the former robins, excluding Brown, because she's a ho and only was there a couple days, and Flav, because he is also a ho, and was being his usual self, drugged up with a gun and trying to make a living.
Well, Nightwing won out. Christ, of them all, I'd thought it be Tim. Well, figures, they had to get his drinking over.
No, he's the new robin, and here's the kicker: He's the badass, the new batman is the panzy. What does this mean, besides the obvious, that Nightwing will be taking it up the but from a kid?
I believe the term of what will occur is called "A Hostile Takeover".
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