- "These are the best pictures of Spider-Man ever."
- ― J. Jonah Jameson
- "She's slinging webs from WHERE??"
- ― Aunt May
The film adaptation of the story of Spider-Man was a tasteful documentary by Peter Parker. The story is a detailed and faithful retelling of how he came to be the hero of New York City. And the women he bedded along the way. For "artistic" purposes, in the story Spider-Man is interpreted as a young budding lesbian still exploring her sexuality. It was later followed by a sequel, in which Spider-Man Does Dallas.
thumb|200px|left|Web-slinging. At puberty, Peter Parker realizes she has gotten several new... abilities. Also, she's bitten by a radioactive spider which gives her superpowers. Peter pushes her body to its limits as a crimefighter... and let's some of her friends push it to its limits as well. But like all adventures of this nature, the first step is to design a tight-fitting costume.
Peter tests her strength for the first time as Spider-Man by fighting in a wrestling match that's the toughest... well, actually it's just sex.
She also accepts a job at the Daily Bugle taking "pictures" (and sometimes films) of Spider-Man, then selling them for money.
There's an interesting sub-plot of romance where... actually that's just sex again.
But when she fights criminals at least, it's... nope, still sex.
The climactic final confrontation of the entire movie is also sex.
- Green Goblin
- Mary Jane Watson
- Harry Osborn
- J. Jonah Jameson
- Aunt May
- Uncle Ben
- Flash Thompson
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