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How To Be Dutch (In 3 Easy Steps)02:28

How To Be Dutch (In 3 Easy Steps)

Footage by daring explorers of the Greenlandic Sepulcher. They had to beat the Danish/Dutch (same thing, I swear) hippies off by throwing their only true weakness: lemons!

The Netherlands, officially The Federation of the United Evil Provinces, also known as Hell, Nederlands, Holland, Hippieland, Hades, Mitnal, and (in German) Das Schlechtes Land zu die Deutsche Menschen and Scheisse is a dark Dutch (or Danish, whatever) country of evil in Europe.

The NetherworldEdit

The Netherlands is broken into three constituent countries, Greenland, the Faroe Islands, and the Netherworld. The Netherworld, incorrectly believed by some to be also called Denmark, is a sinister abyss of doom and despair where all hopes and dreams die and your body is devoured by living shrubs. Your spirit is confined to that land forever under the rule of the insidious lord Wilhemus, also known as Pluto, King Knud the Great, and Pedro the Cruel. The only lands more woebegone than the Netherworld are Russia and Translyvania.

GreenlandEdit

The Greenlandic Sepulcher, or Greenland, is the second constituent state of the Netherlands. It is a frozen island in the Arctic Ocean which some guy named Mercator drew on a map to be almost as large as Mothar Rusha. it is populated by idiot hippie phantoms who complain about how plants never grow there even though it is called Greenland. They grab the souls of those poor Icelanders and transform them into flowers which they eat with mayo and fries.

The Faroe IslandsEdit

The Faroe (or Pharoah) Islands exist in Egypt and are ruled over by Set-Anubis, the merger of Seth Green, a dark deity born from Wilhelmus, and a jackal which got really messed up. Its not a bad place because they eat your soul there, but because their standards for citizenship are pathetic. They weigh your soul on a scale against a feather, and sometimes they tear your heart out and feed it to a hungry crocodile. Most times, however, they let you in even if you're a really deplorable person. It is the vacation spot of Steve Brule and Stalin, not to mention Superman. In Earth-Two, Batman rules the Faroe Islands.

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