Joker Sane 01

Pondering conundrums

"Do you have any idea how much money I spend on minions alone every year? It's not easy. And why do I always have to be the tough boss? I want people to like me, but running your own planet is difficult, and somebody has to be willing to make the close calls. I just wanna be me, you know?"
Darkseid, in one of his more tender moments

Supervillainy isn't just a lifestyle choice. It's a disease. It's an addiction that the worst of us might struggle with for years. When a problem with evil becomes simply too much that it's no longer either beneficial or fun, it's time to go to villain rehab. So you can learn to become a valuable member of society. When the opposite happens, and a hero has this problem, it's called hero rehab.


  • Catwoman just can't make up her mind. "Oh, look at me, I'm in love with Batman. Oh, no, it turns out this time I want to kill him. Wait, I'm in love with you again. No, die." Pick one, and stick to it.
  • The Penguin had his own sexy nightclub when he went legitimate. Although he was unable to completely stay away from the nefarious habits of his past, and he still robbed people... on the drink prices! As any able-bodied person over 21 should know, this is a heinous crime above all others.
  • The Riddler was a private detective when he realized that that was a much more effective and profitable way to use his power of being slightly smart than committing crimes and writing about them on his twitter.
  • The Rogues reformed all the time. Some even worked for the government for awhile, but it turned out they were mind-controlled or some bull. Still, it was cool watching Captain Cold and Heat Wave fight. And it was pretty difficult taking Trickster and the Pied Piper seriously anyway. There, I said it.
  • Doomsday was legally obligated to become nice after signing a gigantic deal with the Beanie Baby corporation. It's in his contract.

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