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Wonder Woman

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General Information


"Men... You can't live with 'em, you can't kill 'em."
― Wonder Woman


Wonder Woman is the pinnacle of Amazon godly perfection. Born on Paradise Island, she acts as the diplomat into the World of Man for her people. Her mission of peace usually involves beating the tar out of criminals with her fists and sword. She also uses her Lasso of Truth, Invisible Plane and Indestructible Bracelets to mete out justice as she sees fits. It's a cruel world, and you react accordingly.

Her sidekick is Wonder Girl... either that or her younger self. Also, her mom is sometimes Wonder Woman too.

Along with Superman and Batman, Wonder Woman is one of the most noticeable cornerstones of the DC Universe. Especially so that people can say "See, comic books are for girls too!" She's a member of the Justice League of America, where she receives critical acclaim.


HistoryEdit

Paradise IslandEdit

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Years of hard training

Wonder Woman isn't even actually real. Athena sculpted her from clay, or some bullshit. Because real women don't need birth. She was trained from the beginning to be the top warrior princess in town. She was brutally murdering mythical creatures with blunt objects while you were making pictures out of macaroni. However, her crippling inability to make pictures out of macaroni in her adult life would later come back to haunt her.

The vast majority of her time was spent learning how to tie people up. Yeah, we know, we reacted the same way, just accept it.

Finally, as by far the best of all women ever she was sent as the ambassador to the World of Man, where she would learn quickly to make negative judgments on cases of sexism in society based on the few horrible examples of chauvinism she would meet by chance very quickly.

Arriving in Man's WorldEdit

But the interesting part of Wonder Woman is when she comes to America and starts fighting the most dangerous criminal of all... sexual stereotypes and gender roles!

Of course, she quickly met a sexy pilot named Steve Trevor, who got kidnapped and taken hostage about as often as women do in regular comic books. Her best friend was a fat lady named Etta Candy. She doesn't really have a consistent city. Sometimes though, it's Washington, D.C..


TriviaEdit

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Did you know... that Wonder Woman will F***ing kill you!?

  • Wonder Woman's Bracelets aren't really that strong. Her wrists are just unshatterable, because of the workout they keep getting. Hey, stare all you want, but there are no men on Paradise Island.
  • The Invisible Plane doesn't actually exist. Wonder Woman is just not aware that she knows how to fly.
  • Yes, the guy who created her was into bondage. Hahahaha, that's so funny, shut up. Get all the giggles out. Go on. Get it out of your system. He was also a psychologist who helped pioneer the polygraph. Wanna talk about that? No? We didn't think so. Nobody ever wants to talk about that part.

External LinksEdit


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DC Comics
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